Four good questions for you & your smoking Valentine
You complain that your Valentine smokes, it is very clear that you dislike her habit and you like even less the smell of burnt tobacco and the cigarette smoke (that’s awfully difficult to remove), it is also clear that you love her and you’d like more ideas about what can be done.
Let’s ask the best questions and let’s discover things about your smoking Valentine, about yourself, about you both and let’s see what can be done.
It can be difficult sometimes to tell a smoker something like that. No matter how well you choose your words and your moment, in the smoker’s brain these might sound like accusations, or even worse, like a breaking up declaration. That’s especially true when the smoker feels guilty about smoking but does not accept anyone to have negative comments about himself.
Even if for many non smokers it is often impossible to understand how come that the one who smokes is not the one and only responsible for the effects of smoking upon the smoker himself and upon the others around, the simple truth is that nicotine creates a shield of careless, indifference and tobacco-lies around the smoker – who usually has not the slightest idea about that shield.
Because of this nicotine shield the smoker is not fully aware about the other’s reactions related to his smoking, he has the tendency to minimize the importance of what others say and do and to reject and consider exaggerations all the complains and all the warnings regarding the negative impact of smoking. < How can be so bad something – the cigarette – that makes me feel so good? > thinks the not informed smoker.
In spite of all the above, the shield of tobacco-lies can be broken.
LOVE breaks shields all the time. Information also breaks shields. Whenever it seems difficult to say, you have the option to write, draw, paint, make a video, send a link.
QUESTION NO 2 : Have you lovingly told her that you LOVE her too much to permit cigarettes to transform your Valentine into stinking ashes ?
QUESTION NO 3 : Have you lovingly repeated your Valentine as often as necessary to be sure that she has got your point about her smoking?
Specialists assure us that only the insistence can make the difference when it is about smokers who initially do not think to quit and have only superficial, incomplete knowledge about the deep, negative tobacco interference in their personal present and future life.
It is very clear that you love your girlfriend and smoking was not – and still isn’t – a reason to keep you apart from her ( even if smoking generally is a crucial pro or con when starting a relationship ).
Maybe she used to smoke less before, or maybe she has just started this stinking habit. In both circumstances if you ask her and dig a little you’ll discover that she has a (new? old and increased?) stress she is afraid she can not cope with, and she uses destructive cigarettes instead of a constructive, real solution against that stress.
QUESTION NO 4 : Have you lovingly given your Valentine the complete, long list with your own reasons for her to quit plus the reasons inspired from this site that can apply to her?
LOVE can do miracles, LOVE can help overcome stresses and LOVE can make the smoker quit unwanted habits. If you add to LOVE useful information, the top best reasons to quit smoking and never relapse that can be adapted to the reality of your smoking Valentine, if you do not give up before being successful, it is very sure that you’ll soon have a loving, non smoking Valentine.